OMG this woman is driving me CRAZY!
Last week my boyfriend gave me money to buy a winter maternity coat. His mom took me shopping for it, but there were none where we live, and I decided to get one next weekend when I go for my 3D ultrasound. But this woman kept trying to push me to get a coat in an extra large size, a regular coat, that I could “grow into”. I tried to explain to her that a maternity coat is better, but she seemed to be frustrated with ME! And I am not a “dressy” person, though I dress well, just not fancy or anything. She kept trying to make me buy a wool coat, but I wanted one with a hood, an actual winter coat, that would be more warm than just for looks. “I dont like coats in that style” “Well why not they are nice???” AAARRGHHHH!!!! Then she told me to buy boots and I said I already have boots for winter. Well they better not be high heels I hope, was her reply. WHEN has she ever seen me in high heels I wonder? Then she wanted me to buy gloves and a scarf (keep in mind she wasnt the one paying for anything) because she said i cant touch door handles or anything in public because of germs and I am pregnant with HER grandchild. I told her I dont like gloves, and I have some at home anyway for when it gets cold out. She said at least get a scarf to have around my neck and open doors with, and if i have to sneeze I can sneeze into it. OK, so lets see, get these germs she is so worried about, on my scarf and carry them around my neck, then put it to my face when i want to sneeze? Makes no sense to me. But anyway. So the next thing is my 3D ultrasound. She wanted to take me and my boyfriend to the appointment which is out of town. So we have to stay st his brothers overnight because she doesnt think I am able to travel too much at 29 weeks pregnant. It is a 3 hour drive away. Its nice of her to take us but thats not what bothers me. She told me that she wants to see the baby on the monitor at the ultrasound. Even though we get pics and a dvd recording of the ultrasound that she can see after. So I told my boyfriend that me and him are going to be the first ones to see the baby on the ultrasound, because it is our baby and our first tme seeing it and what it looks like, and it should be our moment. Plus I am probably going to cry and everything, lol, and I wanted it to be special between us. And then afterward, if the techs let her, his mom can come in and see it. So he told her that and she got mad and asked why (why she had to wait) and he said because its our baby and thats how we want it to be. HOW can she be mad? We dont even have to let her in to see it really, she can wait until we get home to watch the dvd like anyone else. I think she is lucky we are accommidating her in the first place. She is a woman who always wants things done her way and doesnt let up until she gets it and it makes me sooo mad!!! And frustrated. Even with picking a godfather. My bf was going to ask his best friend, because we already decided not to ask his brother, who has a child himself, and is not a responsible parent, always pawning the kid off on someone so him and his gf can get drunk, and even drinking and driving with the kid in the car. But his mom wanted him to ask his brother, and so guess who the Godfather is? She said he doesnt have any godchildren, even though his cousin asked him to be godfather, but she never got the baby baptized, and he is 6 now with Autism, and my bf’s mother says that if the child had been baptized he probably wouldnt have autism….??? Is it just me, being hormonal and pregnant, or does this woman sound like a nut to you too??? Im sorry this is so long but I really had to vent!
you know what, you bunch of ignorant bit****?? If you dont want to read, or help that is fine!! But keep your lousey comments to yourself PLEASE!!!! It is amazing how ignorant people can be when asking for help and venting!!! I thought pregnant women were supposed to be there to help support eachother. I hope someone makes you feel like s**t too when you are looking for a shoulder to lean on!!
And to the people actually answering me like normal people would, thank you!! I honestly appreciate it! I know it is going to get worse when the baby comes which is why we are looking for a place a little further away than we are now! lol
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8:11 pm on February 6th, 2010
I only got to the 10th line.
8:48 pm on February 6th, 2010
omg im soo sorry just ignore her it will only get worse, mother in laws are the hardest thing to deal with, just wait till the baby comes , everything she says just take it with a grain of salt and do what you think is right its your baby and she has to respect that, if not have your mom put her in her place lol
9:47 pm on February 6th, 2010
OMG what a horrible wench. Im so sorry you have to deal with this! Sounds like luckily your BF isn’t a total momma’s boy and following her lead. This is your child. You are the ultimate authority over your child. And the authority on what coat you wear, who comes to your ultrasounds, and who your kid’s godparents are. You stick to your guns hunnie.
9:48 pm on February 6th, 2010
We finally just quit speaking to her after 14 years of hell. But I don’t recommend it. The only thing you can do is just ignore it and just make sure to speak your peace! Don’t let her run over you. But as for the pitty things…..ignore it.
9:56 pm on February 6th, 2010
Sounds like every other nosy MIL in the world….
Yes, you’re freaking out b/c you’re hormonal but yes she sounds terribly pushy and annoying.
10:21 pm on February 6th, 2010
Yeah my mother-in-law has been like this too. She drives me insane and I just cringe every time I have to call her or I see that it is her calling me. She talks over me and doesn’t let me express my feelings. Now that I have found out that I have Group B Strep (which is kinda common) she completely freaked out and telling me to put yogurt in my vagina to get rid of it and that I should just demand a c-section and saying if I don’t then my baby will get sick and possibly die. Which could happen but it isn’t that common. She just wants to control everything. I know exactly how you feel. It is probably just hormones but she needs to lighten up too. Talk to your boyfriend about it to see if it can get better. Good Luck and Congrats on the little one!!
10:31 pm on February 6th, 2010
well it doesnt sound to me at all like you are being hormonal. mother inlaws are sooo annoying lol sorry to hear bout all this. maybe soon enough itll get better. she needs to realize that its YOUR child not hers. good luck
10:59 pm on February 6th, 2010
sounds like a nut to me.
Why on earth does she need you to get germs on something and then put them on your face?!? COmmon sense.
I don’t know why she has to be so rude and act like she needs to get her ways. You were very polite to her by saying you don’t like those types of coats but still she couldn’t take it! Gloves and a scarf are great, but you are a grown woman and can make your own decisions, she seems like in her eyes you are a child and she needs to tell you things you already know. Don’t take her with next time. And you and your boyfriend should definatly get the first look at your baby becuase it’s a great time in your life you can spend together. then she could come. tell her if she doesn’t want to wait, she shouldn’t come at all. The godfather is up to you two, not her. Ask your boyfriends friend anyway. Who cares if she gets mad?
11:11 pm on February 6th, 2010
wow. its not hormones. she is a nut. and quiet annoying.
thats why my mother in law didnt know about my pregnancy or sees my child.
atleast yours cares about the babies health. mine smokes and doesnt see why its so bad to do it around my baby. so we settled it. she isnt allowed to see her.
she even came to the hospital to see my newborn and smelled awful like smoke.
plain and simple.
11:14 pm on February 6th, 2010
listen if u think this is bad..
my mother in law..NOT EVEN MOTHER IN LAW YET..told me to give my child up for adoption, that i have no morals, that i got pregnant on purpose, that she wants me and my boyfriend to break up and she will make it happen, that he is missing the birth of his child, and he wont come home to help me take care of my baby..i am 19 so yeah that scared me.
so if you think that petty stuff is bad put yourself in that situation
11:55 pm on February 6th, 2010
Wow, I am not sure what to tell you. My MIL is great. She’s been a little busy with work lately but she calls now and then (DH more I suppose as he calls her more frequently than I as well) and asks how we are. She’s excited for us and all.
At least your bf put his foot down with her. As long as he keeps standing up to her. Seems like you’re getting things your way you just have to deal with attitude. I don’t blame you for not wanting her there for the u/s. My friend offered to go w/ me to my doc appt, but this is the first one with DH and I together so I thanked her, but some other time. Now you have to decide what to do with your MIL and the labor…b/c apparently she wants to be right there in all the action.
Perhaps your boyfriend (and you) needs to sit her down and let her know you’re both going to do things a bit differently. As the parents you’d like her to respect your rules and try things at your ways…and if she feels you’re making a mistake…she can point that out but she needs to respect how you want to raise the child. So some things maybe different, but loving the new addition certainly is one thing you both will do and the baby will need her love too. (Grandparents are important…)
So, I hope you guys can work everything out! Good luck!
12:43 am on February 7th, 2010
1:30 am on February 7th, 2010
she is a complete nut. you have every right to be annoyed with her.
and i love the a-holes on here who say they cant take the time to read your post but take the time to write a stupid answer? LOL at them. anywho…
the coat, scarf thing etc, that is just an “older” persons way of going on about winter, and this is only made worse by the fact your pregnant. my mum is CONSTANTLY going on at me about wrapping up etc and everytime i come to visit her she has us all sweating so me and baby dont get cold, its sweet, but i have to tell her to turn off the heat a lot lol
but the scan thing?? its simply ridiculous. like you said you get a dvd and pictures, so why should she get pride of place in the room with you and your partner, when your own parents and family will have to see the dvd.
shes being ridiculous, put your foot down (again!) and say no no no but at the same time if she does manage to weedle her way in with you then dont let her spoil it, like you say magical time seeing baby and what it looks like etc, at the end of the day no matter where she is, whether she ends up DELIVERING your baby, my main point is its YOUR baby no matter how annoying she gets! xx
2:18 am on February 7th, 2010
At what point are you and your bf going to develop a spine and tell her to stop micromanaging your life? You need to sit her down and tell her that she needs to stop. It’s not funny anymore and are more the actions and speech of a controlling person, not an excited, future grandma. Tell her NO, the godfather will be a friend who is actually responsible and not a guy who gets drunk regularly.
2:32 am on February 7th, 2010
okay just to say it first, please don’t write every details, it was too much to read, but i finished i.
) and he is great. We went shopping, i wasn’t even showing, and she bought maternity clothes for 300 bucks. She is nice ans calls every now and then.
It is hard to put myself into that position, because me and my mother in law met on my weeding day (tomorrow 3 month ago
My and my husbands parents live 5 and 9 hours away. so they can’t be at the ultrasound, but at my first one i still lived at home and took my mom, my husband wasn’t living in the same town anymore at that time. the second one i lived here already so i went by myself, my husband is in the military and couldn’t go. i will have another one on monday and we will find out the sex, and my husband is going and i am sure my and his mom would love to go if they would be here and i would not mind. And i also think that it is great that you allow her to come in but after you and your boyfriend seen the baby. she should be happy. ignore her and tell your boyfriend that he is old enough and started his own family and let go of his mom! he acts like a baby.
by the way, how old are you and your boyfriend?
I am 20, will be 21 in dec. and 21w pregn. my husband will be 26 in dec.
2:51 am on February 7th, 2010
My main suggest would be that as soon as you can move away from where they are, do it. It’s not going to get better. Mother-in-laws like that just don’t change.
3:09 am on February 7th, 2010
Honestly, while she does sound pushy, you sound really negative. Every suggestion she makes, you say “no” to. No wonder she seemed frustrated on your shopping trip. How much would it have hurt you to buy a scarf and make her happy?
I’m thinking it’s a combination of your hormones and her being pushy.
3:54 am on February 7th, 2010
My over-dramatic mother in law calls my baby HER BABY!! All the time, she says her baby. My husband has told her we are not comfortable with her calling the baby hers and she still does it. I feel like I’m the surrogate mother and she will take the baby when he’s born. She has even bought a crib and made a nursery at her house for the baby. Yet she has not helped us buy anything for the baby. We don’t even live close to her, like 45 min away. And my baby is not going to be spending the night over there for a long, long time, if ever. I just don’t trust her with my baby. It is hard to deal with mother in laws like that, but my solution is to talk to her as least amount of possible so my pregnant hormones don’t go off on her. I don’t know if that’s the best advice for you but at least you won’t say something you will regret.
4:34 am on February 7th, 2010
this is a little weird coming from her because this isnt her first grandchild.
well anyway, just ignore her and do your thing. just keep your respect for her there.
if you didnt want her in the ultrasound room with u then just dont let her come in the first place. it is kinda weird that she brought u all the way there then she has to wait outside and drive u back all the way and thats it.
she sounds like a smartie and a little nutty but we all have MIL’s just like that.
just bite down on yourself a bit and hopefully you’ll find a place a little farther =P
Good luck with her! =)
4:51 am on February 7th, 2010
It’s okay to let it all out. Asking for advice is all right. Especially on Yahoo! Answers. When my mom had brother two years ago, she was unbelievably cranky. It took me a while to learn that she just needed to let it all out. I mean, its not everyday you get pregnant. Being thirteen, I might not have all the info on this kind of stuff.
No doubt your mother in law is annoying, but take into account that she’s caring for you and the baby. Although some of things, she says is darn right stupid. (i.e. sneezing into a scarf), just tell her that you appreciate her help but that you just need to rest.
It took me a while to learn how to approach my mom while she was pregnant. “/ But once I just sat down and let her talk to me, it was all good. (Okay, not completely dandy, but it helped.)
Good luck with the baby (: